I am in the middle of an extremely challenging time. I am being asked, challenged, and supported in doing the impossible. So many people are doing their best to help! From casual friends and new acquaintances to close friends and immediate family. Many are pitching in, making sacrifices in his or her own way. While I say I am confident of the goal, there are times that I wonder. Is the price that I, we are paying worth the potential reward.
This is not the first time I have found myself asking myself this question. As I look backwards in context of the present, I find myself reliving hells. Many were not of my making. I may not have helped, yet I am even more sure now than I was then that the times of extended anguish were the handiwork of the na?ve and arrogant working innocently or intentionally with Evil. At great cost to the girls and myself, we survived. I wonder, then and now, at what cost.
The price was and is great. It always is with great callings and causes. I find myself looking back and realizing that I am fundamentally different because of the sacrifices made. I owe a debt to those that stood by me then and now. My life is richer for the experiences. I am able to see God more clearly. I hear God with greater frequency. I see others and myself in the context of God’s view. It is a blessing given by others to me.
It is in this moment that I begin to understand the context of one wise mans words, reflecting on what God does for you and me. “Out of that terrible travail of soul, he'll see that it's worth it and be glad he did it. Through what he experienced, my righteous one, my servant, will make many ‘righteous ones,’ as he himself carries the burden of their sins.” (Isaiah 53.11) Today I walk with a thankful heart. I may not be able to repay the debt but I can make a difference.
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