I have more gray hairs than not. The good news is that I still have hair. Since I take that for granted, I find myself reflecting over the aging that is beyond my control. I am older than when I first saw my father as old. I do not remember anticipating what it would be like to be in the middle of my fifth decade. Now that I am here, it is not what I expected.
One aspect that surprised me was the ongoing confusion without and within about “who” and “what” I am. At some point, regardless of what anyone might think or say, the evidence of life speaks for itself. While I may aspire to be something different (more), what I am today is accurately reflected in actions and relationships.
I feel marginally better knowing that others have faced the same question at some point in her/his life. When Paul was challenged he responded with the evidence that everyone could see. “Aren’t you yourselves proof of the good work that I’ve done for the Master? Even if no one else admits the authority of my commission, you can’t deny it. Why, my work with you is living proof of my authority!” (1 Corinthians 9.2)
I take comfort that my life is not the same as it was. Change and growth are integral to the process of making a difference. We share a common trait, failure. We have known and experienced this in more circumstances than we can recall. We also share the ability to learn from our experiences. We can be different in the present. We can make a difference.
The God I know releases me from the worry about the outcome. God tells us that we are part of Divinity’s family. Our futures are secure! Our mission is to live. We are called to love and compassion. Divinity calls us to be engaged, fully and completely. We have the freedom and power to make a difference to those around us and for ourselves. It is a calling worthy of God. It is ours.