“Examine me, God, from head to foot, order your battery of tests. Make sure I’m fit inside and out.” Psalm 26.2
This is the season for giving and getting performance reviews. At a minimum the process occurs once a year, ideally it occurs casually monthly and formally quarterly. Like all activities, some people like the exercise others clearly hate it. As in all conversations between people, some people listen other people don’t.
Yesterday I spent time with a paradoxical employee. On one hand, they always do a good job, working against deadlines, meeting and exceeding the expectations of their internal clients. On the other, they often do not listen to their immediate boss and do not look to improve themselves.
I struggled through the conversation wanting to convey my confidence in their job. They seemed to believe I did not think the work ethic was there and that they carried a desire to deliver for the customer. At one point, I gave up trying to prod them into listening. In the end, I thrust a formal letter into their hand and ask them to read it. The change in expression washed over their face and our conversation immediately took on a different color and shape.
Am I like that with God? Do I really want, as David describes, God to examine and test? Do I have the courage to offer this prayer up to God? What do I want to happen? Why?
Admittedly, I am just like my employee. I believe I know what God thinks of me. I am confident in my evaluation and I presume to believe God will look at me the same way. Therefore, I am ready to act and take charge. Wrong!
There are several prayers of David where he repeats this request. David’s motive appears to be reflective of his desire to have a strong relationship with God.
I want what David had. I want God to examine and test me so I can give permission to God to make changes. You can have this to, if you want it.