Divinity appears to use a mystical language in the wilderness that speaks through nature's stillness, a pure blue night sky filled with stars, and the occasion cry of an animal. It is God is whispering and we cannot do anything other than listen. On this occasion, I was in the wilderness with a pulled muscle and pinched nerve in my lower back. I was in pain. In the midst of my struggle, I knew I needed to be here. I needed to be here for Whitney. More importantly, I needed to be here for myself.
I drove out of the wilderness changed. I had reconnected with Hope, and it was in Whitney voice. I had reconnected with Trust, and it was in Whitney's hug. I had reconnected with forgiveness, and it was in Whitney's eyes.
Even as I write, trying to explain the unexplainable, I know that I will only capture a small piece of my experience. I would love to say that I am learning from my mistakes, but often I just brush them aside. I would love to embrace my weakness, relying on others to lend me a hand, but often I simply muster courage and struggle on alone. I would like to find strength in success, yet I often find myself twisted on the ground reveling in another failure.
The Hope, Trust, and Forgiveness I found in the wilderness came through the life of someone I love deeply and without reserve. Ironically, I found myself looking at her as I understand God looks at me – without condition, in the present, and as I am. I found hope because Whitney is embracing Hope. I found trust because Whitney is willing to walk with Trust. I found forgiveness because I know Whitney has cleaned her slate with me. I love Whitney – for who she is at this moment.
God loves you and me the same.
“They recognized him as the one who sat begging at the Temple's Gate Beautiful and rubbed their eyes, astonished, scarcely believing what they were seeing.” (Acts 3.10)
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