I am writing about how Life has taught on this day – only it is a day late. I would like to say that every daily whisper is current, however I know that a few are a day or so late. In today’s case, I think Life knew that I needed to let the full events unfold before the lesson was clear. About the time I normally meditate and let the Spirit speak, a friend close to my heart was letting go. After a battle with cancer that slowly took life from her, she said goodbye.
I will miss her from my heart out. Even though I knew the news was coming soon, the words and sounds confirming her passing were tough to accept. Every fiber within me screamed. I wanted to cry, to lament so that everyone would pay attention. As I sat at dinner next to the Esplanade my tears silently fell as I paused and remembered.
We have known each other for decades. We share people close to our hearts. She has be part of several defining moments of my life. She was too young to go. While I know that it is the way with evil, I still do not want to accept the harsh reality.
In my tears I realized that it is normal to bargain with God. Some say that “I will give you full credit when everyone gathers for worship; when the people turn out in force I will say my Hallelujahs.” (Psalm 35.18) I cannot speak to this kind of approach with the God that hates pain and suffering. To this God I want to say, “I love you. I am grateful for having been enriched by one of your children for the past 22 years. I am filled with memories of laughter and wonder! She was awesome. For every step she was able to take with me, thank-you God. For the hope of seeing her again, whole, complete, and smiling, today and always, you are an awesome God.
Evil is working, but I know God has won.