As I caught up with a friend after a long absence, I was recently asked for an updated self-assessment of recent personal history.
“How have you changed in the past year or two?”
I paused, reflecting on my journey and how the ups and downs had impacted my views and thoughts on life. There were several points that stood out. As I answered his questions he focused his follow-ups on one of my responses.
“In time of crisis or trouble, in contrast to my old thinking of ‘how do I solve this,’ I find myself thinking ‘who do I call for advice or help.’”
For some, this pivot is not a big deal. For me, as much as I thought I collaborated and believed in the power of the many versus the one, the shift in thinking only happened over time. Even then, it took a series of events to help me realize how important this pivot was in my thinking.
For anyone wrestling with questions in this space, I would offer the following reflections from my journey.
There is a fine line between areas we are accountable and responsible for and the areas where we collaborate with others. As much as I might believe I have found a better line than in my past, it is still early days. I have no view on where others should strike this line in their lives.
At my core, I always knew I was trying to do too much. Looking back, my ego, fears, and doubts were wrapped up in a way that pushed me to be in charge. There was always an alternative. Embracing the alternatives has been one a difficult challenge.
I look back and wonder why it took me so long! I love handing off my need to react. A simple repeat of an old psalm; “Send the Evil One to accuse my accusing judge; dispatch Satan to prosecute him,” (Psalm 109.6) always brings a sigh of relief.
It was a small change that made a big difference for me. One step at a time.