I naturally keep score. I do not plan, want, or intend, however, the scores and lists seems to automatically rest just behind the present details of the moment. People who extract a price in the middle of a transaction that I perceive as unfair are often at the top of the list. Those who pull off a smooth con are just behind. Trailing the list are inadvertent mistakes and slight of hand that come off as unintentional; but never fear, they have their own special tally sheets.
As much as I keep trying to wipe the slate clean, my natural self keeps putting it back on the shelf. In idle moments here and there, analysis continues on how I can even the tally. I tell myself that I should let these things go, but I seem to treasure them even more as time goes by. I scheme and anticipate how sweet winning will be when we finally reconcile the scores.
Solomon warns us about those who keep detailed scores. “Their [riffraff and rascals] perverse minds are always cooking up something nasty, always stirring up trouble.” (Proverbs 6.14) He calls things more accurately than I would ever admit.
On a bright crisp spring morning, I wonder why I bother to keep scores at all. There is little point or purpose to the exercise. I am confident that most of the tallies came from my own perceptions, not those intentionally caused by the actions of others. I am sure that many came during moments of stress and tension, where my skewed vision created the environment that helped the numbers sprout and grow.
Today, I took the scores and dumped them out back. I plan to leave them there, however, only time will tell. The one thing that you and I can both do is cart the junk out, again and then again repeatedly until the trash consistently stays empty. This is an unending task, but the rewards are immense! God promises a fresh life of real living, are you up for it? The opportunity is fresh each morning.