Deadlines, deliverables, and things to do are dominating my thinking. I fly at two. Between now and then I need to pack, have a conference call, pick up two last minute items, carry overweight bags down to the car, eat breakfast, say my goodbye and thanks to family, check in the rental, and check into the flight. I am sure there is more on the list but it is far too overwhelming already! No matter what I think I should have done earlier, the day is stacked against me.
Even as I write I know how silly and self centered this must sound. While the feelings are overwhelming, dominating my senses from every angle I can imagine, nobody will die or be hurt if I do not get everything accomplished before I leave. Relationships will survive, possible things I might enjoy will still be in San Francisco when I return, and I have already checked in. There is a critical list of things I need to do, however it is a lot shorter than the one chasing me in my head.
As I breathe in deep and slow, I realize my whisper is a repeating phrase; “God, God, save me! I’m in over my head.” (Psalm 69.1) As crazy and close to a clear lack of faith statement (if God is listening, why wouldn’t he hear and answer the first time?), it is also comforting. I know I am being a bit crazy. I know I can take control. I know I know but I cannot. Expressing a need for help is the one thing I can do to remind myself that there is help available.
A brother lends a hand for one item followed by another brother kicking in with more. Helping hands from the two plus others makes a big difference. In the hours that follow the impossible is reality.
Life is often overwhelming. Much of the crisis that follows is of my own making and yet help always seems to live where least expected. In thanks, I realize I have something to share.