I had yet to resolve a conundrum. I had worked with a team. I trusted them with my confidence. I defended them first, even when I had to discipline them for his/her mistakes. It was a relationship based on trust.
The conversation with a friend years later broke the mythology of my memories. I knew that certain members of the team did not share my trust. They were open in their doubts. Their fears dominated their actions. Yet, I always believed an inner group within the team was on my side. As we talked, I heard two points being presented. The first was direct and personal. You can trust me.
The second challenged my memories. Your team was not always your team. Some could have stood tall. Instead, they cowered in front of the leader that followed. Their actions told of unseen doubt. Their choice reflected overwhelming fears.
I understand their views. I wonder what I would have done in their place. Reacting to a something new that challenges the old is difficult! When traditionalists were introduced to new ideas, their reaction was predictable. “The hard-line Jews became furious over the conversions. Mad with jealousy, they rounded up a bunch of brawlers off the streets and soon had an ugly mob terrorizing the city as they hunted down Paul and Silas.” (Acts 17.5)
Metaphorically, am I any different today?
In the context of everything going on around me, what do I stand for? Do I know my values and priorities?
Given the new pressures, what principles do I need to hold onto? What am I willing to do in their defense?
Fear can be legitimate. What do I fear? Do I know why?
As I look back, there are two perspectives that I missed. I was not listening to the journeys of those around me. I did not ask the obvious. Secondly, I was so focused on my vision that I was closed to a greater one. Teams can be greater than individuals.
Two difficult questions remain with me. Has anything changed? Do I want more?