I struggled to hand my emotions walking into the lobby of the hotel. I had been on a plane overnight for eight hours. The brief shower, change of clothes, a bite to eat didn’t do much to change the tiredness being amplified by nervousness and sense of pending disaster. I wish I knew then what I know now. The person, fear, and doubts which etched the emotions into my soul have gone through a radical transformation! As I reflect on a change he has decided to put himself through, one filled with many of the same unknowns, uncertainties, and fears as I faced on that day, I wish I could walk along side with him. I wish I could give him what he gave me on that day and the years that followed.
It is interesting to note the transformation that began during our first conversation. There were several elements; an openness to exchange ideas and views, a willingness to be vulnerable with ones unknowns, and a care expressed by each of the things we held close to our hearts. The journey has not always been smooth. I can recall my frustration of not being able to communicate and of not being understood. Ironically, years later I discovered a far greater understanding of what I was saying at the time than I could never imagined. I also found the angst a friend always has when he feels powerless to deal with forces beyond his control.
I sit in the sun, wondering what the new day will bring. There are many uncertainties and unknowns, too many to corral and manage. I know where my heart is at; I will revel in the hope and trust shared in a friendship tested with time. I stand ready to support if needed. And I will live! Living, this is my dream for him and the family; living full, free, and filled with hope.
“Yes, indeed—God is my salvation. I trust, I won't be afraid. God—yes God!—is my strength and song, best of all, my salvation!” (Isaiah 12.2)
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