Yesterday marked a turning point, albeit one that I would, have worked hard to avoid. I have, over the past ten weeks or so, extended a hand a trust to a colleague in an effort to gain his commitment to work together. We had no history together, we built our dialogue in the absence of any previous experiential trust, and we spoke with hope about the future. In the end his heart wasn’t in the opportunity and he is pursuing another.
Turning points are interesting events. I have yet to anticipate and prepare myself for one in a way that I knew was predictable. Even though I have know that this option existed for some time, even though I encourage people to make open decisions, even with my flexibility, I didn’t think through my reaction to a “no” decision.
Simply put, it hurt. I believe that the opportunity in working together was and is a good one. I know intellectually that the decision to move on was driven by things beyond the immediate team and my self. Yet the knowledge of the mind did not change the fact that I believe he has lost along the way. So it was with a sense of sadness and reflection that I concurred with the decision and put the wheels in motion to support the transition.
I wonder if I am any clearer in my reaction and decision to Divinity’s offer of relationship and recreation. John paints a crisp scene. “Whoever accepts and trusts the Son gets in on everything, life complete and forever! And that is also why the person who avoids and distrusts the Son is in the dark and doesn't see life. All he experiences of God is darkness, and an angry darkness at that.” (John 3.36)
As I reflect on a gray crisp English morning I know I underestimate the impact of my choices during the coming minutes. The choices will make distinct differences in my life and others that I touch. Will I accept the hand of compassion, mercy, and love? Will I…