Last night a friend talked about big issues in his life. You could see how the mistakes of yesterday directly linked to his view of God. The painful memories are fresh and vivid, no matter how confident one is that these are things in the past. The challenge of the present of future weighed on his shoulders.
Last night the conversation took me instantly back twenty-five years. I can sense the sounds of the day, the smells of the garden outside my bizarrely painted apartment in a morgue, and the feelings of hope and despair that accompany almost every person attending a university. In a time of incredible self-centeredness, I made some incredibly ridiculous decisions. In hindsight, things seem so clear and obvious. I wonder if I realize how many opportunities to give encouragement and nurture, I squandered in my drive to enjoy myself.
I do not believe my memories are unique. “You can readily recall, can’t you, how at one time the more you did just what you felt like doing – not caring about others, not caring about God – the worse your life became and the less freedom you had? And how much different is it now as you live in God’s freedom, your lives healed and expansive in holiness?” (Romans 6.19)
However, is it so different? Do you or I really live in freedom? Do we believe God healed our lives? Do we live in the expansive of peace and mercy?
For me, the memories of yesterday are frequently today’s prerecording. Sure, the scenes and players are different. Nevertheless, my motive of doing what makes me feel good, satisfied, or happy too often drives my decisions and actions.
There is only one way to deal with this. Stop, recognize the pattern, and seek the one place that can deal with things – God. God has given me grace and mercy for yesterday’s actions as I accepted his offer of restoration and resurrection. Today my request is very simple – take my yes and lead me to living. God offer you and I fresh memories of freedom.
