A friend who was lost his job on four days ago shared drinks on his last day. He knew and is was a common idea across the floor, that his job was vulnerable however no one expected that he would be fired so shortly. As we talked about days gone by, we have known of each other for more than fifteen years, a pattern of lost opportunities, squandered chances, and the struggle to balance family and work was easy to recognize. It is easy to be judgmental yet I wonder if I see the patterns that form and continue forming in my life and journey.
It is easy to say that I could examine the evidence with the benefit of hindsight and find the start of the patterns of destruction. I have made several attempts, in my life and others. The trail becomes very faint, yet intuitively each quest points to the same source. “The person who courts sin, marries trouble; build a wall, invite a burglar.” (Proverbs 17.19)
What could I have done differently in days, months, or years gone by that would help be avoid today’s trouble? Does courting self automatically lead to destruction? How does one define self in an age where spears, barbs, and knives strike and slash from every direction? I thought I could defend myself! If I can are there any boundaries or limits?
Some answers can only be experienced. God tells us if we care to listen that courting self binds us to self’s child, conflict. This conflict is different than an attack because it originates from without our hearts and mind. To protect our self and everything that we are building we often defend ourselves by building barriers, emotional and physical. God’s warning is clear; there is no future if this path.
There is alternative yet it cannot be proven except through living. Faith in God lived out is radical trust. Radical trust will invite attacks but winning is a given because we are now in God’s fight and he has already won. A=B=C.
