Methods

I can never remember hearing the words, “this is going to hurt me more than it hurts you.”  I know I wouldn’t have believed them even while my gray hairs tell me that at some moment, rare though they may have been, they may have been true.  Taking action that comes with pain is never easy, especially when you know the pain is not a direct result of another’s conscious choice.
 
Recently I found myself having to be a firm reality check for a friend.  The situation is truly unjust; it has been for some time.  There have been broken promises, unfulfilled expectations that were set by those who should have known better, and a string of flagrant rewards for some while ignoring the contributions of others.  The situation is unfair, inappropriate, and exploitive, but it is reality.  The reality check is how long it will take to correct the current situation and who to trust.
 
I can remember an old boss and friend having to the same conversations with me more than twenty years ago.  The intensity of my emotions as he went through his analysis, action, and current thoughts was, for me, extremely painful.  To say I was confused would be an English understatement.  To conclude that I was in pain would be incomplete.  To believe that I was angry, frustrated, and shocked would be to state the obvious.  The conversation, in the midst of everything, wasn’t helping.  At least I didn’t think so at the time.
 
I can remember a question at the time.  It was as if this friend knew the same things about me that Jesus did about his disciples.  “Jesus sensed that his disciples were having a hard time with this and said, ‘Does this throw you completely?’”  (John 6.61)
 
What happened then was pure grace.  As harsh as the reality was came the beauty of love and compassion.  I ended that conversation with hope presented as a free gift.  I seized that hope and now look on the conversation with affection.  God offers you and me the same today.