Fresh

It is hard to remember that Christmas as we know it is not very old.  Our Christmas celebration, Santa Claus, and even Rudolf are products of New York and Madison Avenue.  We want to embrace the ideas of compassionate giving, remembering the goodness in the world, and wishing the best to others.  It is as if there is a thirst for the Christmas spirit hiding within us.  We want to believe, but do we?
For many, myself included, this haunting question of Christmas haunts much of our lives.  We want to believe, but we know it just cannot be true.  For the sake of children and tradition, we put ourselves into the ritual.  Yet, we know in our heart of hearts that it is simply make believe.  My doubts do not end with Christmas.  Doubt's tentacles creep into my life. 
The result is that I am caught on a treadmill that feels familiar, good, and reassuring.  It is comforting to go through the rituals.  It seems natural to follow tradition.  Even as I long for this, I set out to meet God on my terms not Divinity's.  I know what is needed, not the Spirit.  In a fresh dose of reality, God confronts my actions bluntly with love.  “Instead of honoring me, you profane me.  You profane me when you say, 'Worship is not important, and what we bring to worship is of no account,' and when you say, 'I'm bored-this doesn't do anything for me.'  You act so superior, sticking your noses in the air-act superior to me, God-of-the-Angel-Armies!  And when you do offer something to me, it's a hand-me-down, or broken, or useless.  Do you think I'm going to accept it?  This is God speaking to you!”  (Malachi 1.12, 13) 
God is looking for something that I have.  God is looking for honest hearts, true seekers, and lovers of truth.  God welcomes us in all our weaknesses.  We do not have a perfect vessel to give.  Only our intent and needs are pure.  We can be honest, with God and our souls.