Loops

There are moments that my impatience shows.  Sadly, they are far more often than I would like.  When the listener has no chance of understanding me, I am extraordinarily empathetic.  When I think (arrogantly of course!) that someone should be able to understand my ramblings, the level of patience within quickly disappears.  If the situation is intense, especially for me, then the rate of patience used up by the second approaches the speed of light!  What often starts out as a casual, collegial conversations ends up with defensive words and postures, tense verbal arrows, and a growing sense by everyone involved that the conversation has gone to places where nobody involved willing wants to go. 
My response to this situation is a norm that many others fall into.  When instructions are not carried out to the letter, individuals find themselves angry and frustrated.  In “bringing them back, they stood them before the High Council.  The Chief Priest said, 'Didn't we give you strict orders not to teach in Jesus' name?”  (Acts 5.27)  I can feel his frustration.  I can sense his anger.  I thought the words were clear.  I assumed everyone understood.  I left with a clear sense of what would follow in the future.  I wonder, did I?
There is a very dangerous loop in play.  The first person in this loop is your and myself.  As we deal with the person within, it is easy to be impatient.  Is there a reason that we do not get it?  What prevents us from accomplishing the task?  Why did we give in to an alternative direction?
The frustration and anger with our self is destructive.  We deserve compassionate understanding.  In today's dawn, I am resolved to be aware of my weaknesses without accepting them as being permanent.  I am committed to giving myself the patience that God offers each.  My resolve is a love-based dialogue with my soul and others that nurtures my strength and willingness to embrace a loving and compassionate God.  It is time to break the loop.  It is time for God's embrace.