I grew up with a defined image of what it meant to be a “man”. The most distinctive aspect was the idea that a real man stood alone. He took care of business by using his skills and abilities. He stood up to whatever might assault by his inner strength. If there was even a hint of needing help, he was not quite the man that he could be.
My image of a man was fatally flawed. I would like to say that I abandoned this image long ago, learning from the lives of the real men I have met during the course of my life. Instead, I have held onto the image tenaciously.
I am not alone in this type of response to life’s challenges. Proudly, individuals and institutions have stood resolutely alone, defying the wisdom of consultation, dialogue, and walking with a humble attitude. Individual arrogance triumphed for a time. Many forgot the fundamentals of due diligence and are now paying a heavy price. Yesterday’s wisdom has quickly faded into memories that few are willing to acknowledge.
I find myself looking at those that lived with a different model. Their courage in admitting their limitations fills me with hope. Their willingness to rely on others showed up in their lives and in the community. They are willing to work in teams while avoiding the spotlight. Their friends care for them, when they are together and even apart. In one situation “the house was packed with praying friends.” (Acts 12.13) They knew they could help and took the initiative even before they were asked.
This is a very different kind of man. I find that the imagine starts at the beginning of every process. Waiting until you need help is too late. You and I have the opportunity to look at life though the framework of a family and community. We can begin thinking of how “we” will reach for the opportunities. When problems occur, the relationships that have been established, nurtured, and supported will be the difference between a crisis and a shared response.
