“Who is your patron?”
“Nobody. I can stand on my own.”
“I know you are strong, independent. Who is your patron?”
“I do not need one.
“Really?”
“Yes!”
This conversation keeps repeating itself. I have stood my ground, resolute in my belief. With 30 years behind me, I look back and offer this observation. I was so wrong – completely, utterly, and totally wrong. With the insight that only comes from success, failures, and times, let me offer the following for consideration.
Do not assume you always know the question. I could have asked the clarifying and insightful questions when I first heard the question in my twenties. Asking allows one to put context and meaning that leads to the real question. I answered one question but it was not the real one.
Never lose your childhood curiosity about the why. Seek, find, and understand why, before anything else. The answer to the why brings reason and rationale to the table. Knowing why can open an opportunity for you to see what you otherwise could not.
When someone asks if you have something that you do not, remember it is often a polite way of suggesting that you need whatever it is. This is not automatic, however it is worth taking time to consider.
In my case, the patron question was on multiple levels.
Who have you given permission to ask the tough, difficult, and potentially embarrassing question? Who are you willing to be fully accountable to? S/he is likely a patron.
Who has your back? Who will protect you when you do not know you need to be protected? Who will stand in your corner when nobody else is there? Who is looking out for your best interests. S/he is likely a patron.
Who do you go to when you do not know where to go? Who is your guide, educator, and comfort? Who can you give witness to; “Hour by hour I place my days in your hand, safe from the hands out to get me.” (Psalm 31.15)
We need patrons in our life.
