I willingly confess to a physical fear that has been with me since I was a child. I hate heights! Living on the 33rd floor does not make things easier. There are rare occasions when I can stand next to the railing and enjoy the peaceful scene. Most of the time I need to sit with space between the edge and myself. I am not sure why this is easier, but it is. It is as if the height is a demon that will attack if I get to close.
With gray hairs (wisdom), time (experience), and a willingness to learn (aspiration), one could expect changes in the demons and darkness that haunt your life and mine. Yours may change but mine have stayed pretty constant. While their shape and manifestation has morphed, who and what they are has not materially changed. Height is the name of a physical one. Others are related to Doubt, a few linked to Fear. Uncertainty often shows up when others take a rest.
As I think about the changing scene from the balcony, I realize it reflects the cycles of the heart. Dawn comes with a sense of hope and possibilities. The initial softness of the morning gives way to heat and a growing awareness of the forge that you and I live in. As the evening comes, reflection and a sense of peace wrap themselves around all willing to slow down. It is the lull before the Darkness slowly begins to dominate. One writer described the evil that emerges; “They return when the sun goes down, they howl like coyotes, ringing the city.” (Psalm 59.6) Fear, Uncertainty, and Doubt are members of this pack.
As difficult as the darkness can be, I know that endurance brings a new dawn. There is a rebirth, a new day that is promised and realized repeatedly. In acknowledging my demons I am reminded in the power of Hope. It repeatedly puts demons in their place.
I enjoy the view, even with my fear. I love everything that comes from spending time in reflection.
