When I go through a period of fighting some kind of bug or sinusitis there is a pause as I come out the other side when I go back to a moment in time. This morning I woke to that moment. It was a moment that started my day with a smile. The story then replays again; I know this will be a good day.
The first time I experienced the feeling of coming out of something terrible was in the moment I was aware that I had survived surgery. I had no idea that I was in the neurology ICU of St. Vincent’s Hospital. The only thing I knew was that I was alive. My initial reaction was to try and move my arms so that I could reposition myself. I could not move because I was in a straight jacket, tied to my bed. As I squirmed, I could hear two sounds overlapping each other. The initial sound I could understand was my daughter laughing. The second was the firm voice of a nurse.
“Are you going to try and get out of bed, again?”
“No mam.”
“Are you sure?”
The accompanying laughter grew louder as the questioning continued.
Twenty plus hours of my life were a mystery to me, but I was alive! I had survived to see another day. Whatever it was, there was a chance to experience life, to feel, to engage, to make a difference.
Even in my restraints and the pain, there was nothing restrained in my feelings. I was alive!
Sometimes I read the words of other writers and wonder what they mean. I do not quite get it yet I do; “Dress the canyon walls with live sheep, a drape of flax across the valleys. Let them shout, and shout, and shout! Oh, oh, let them sing!” (Psalm 65.13)
If you are reading this you are alive! Anything, everything is possible. As restrained as it feels, there is so much that is unfettered. It time to sing – in our actions, in our relationships, and with our voice.
