The certainty of knowing someone is going to do what s/he said they were going to do only comes with trust that is grounded in experience. I have come to see this as one of life’s pearls. It is rare, far rarer than we tend to admit. It is fragile. One failure can create a crack. Two often leads to brokenness. Life likes to encourage me with the reminder that the presence of certainty creates the possibility of more.
There is very little in life that is absolutely and totally certain. The clichés remind us that taxes and death are two, but intuitively one thinks there must be more. The challenge in relationships lies with being human. Inevitably, weakness, failures, and conflicting priorities intersect with reality. As much as I want to be somewhere, doing something, I cannot. I am always reaching but not quite touching my aspirations.
Two friends continue to teach me about commitment. Their lessons so far include the following.
Let others do what they can do. Freedom without expectation and demand is at the center. With each I have come to realize that I do not expect or think I deserve anything. It may appear different, yet it is their promise
Appreciate that the other has a life as well. When there is silence, it does not follow that the other is not connected. Trust. Give space. Allow others the same freedom that you treasure.
Be aware of the needs of others and do what you can. Giving gifts is fun, especially with the gifts are shaped by awareness and an unconditional release. Each aspect requires something unique from the giver. The first is time and attention with the openness to understanding another. The second is the willingness for let another re-gift, discarded, or even unused and unrecognized. Giving can be an action worthy of God.
I have received two priceless gifts from them, commitment and certainty. One call said it all; “I’m bringing my prizes and presents to your house. I’m doing what I said I’d do.” (Psalm 66.13) Let’s celebrate.
