I appreciate the joys and wonder that is found in “good” bargaining while coming to dislike and avoiding anything that is close to bad bargaining. You do not always know which type it will be when you start. Life reminds me that I love bargaining when both sides win. Anything that starts or ends with a premise that a lopsided outcome is good for either side is, for me, bad. Good starts and ends on better outcomes. Without that, for one of us, what is the point?
As I reflect on the recent past, I realize that life often drifts into a self-centric space. It is not as if others are always driving the bargain to a self-centered foundation. I frequently catch myself starting the conversation from an I perspective. In the natural bargaining that follows, my primary focus is on what is in it for me. Life does not need to be defined that way! We, I, can do better than this.
I find it helpful to remind myself of the following.
Starting with others always ends up reflecting back on one’s self. As I help others, I help myself. In mentoring and supporting others, I catch myself learning and teaching myself. In caring for others I find myself naturally tending my spirit and soul. Reaching to help others is another form of reaching for the life’s greatest gifts. In giving one also receives the blessing that comes with it.
Being willing to ask for help often creates space to give in equal measure. Everyone needs a helping hand! It takes courage to replay the Psalmist words as one’s own; “Why not help us make a fresh start – a resurrection life? Then your people will laugh and sing!” (Psalm 85.6) The link between asking, giving, accepting, and taking is closer than one imagines. Life reminds me we are called to do both.
Understanding grows in proportion to the amount of living we do. Robust living creates space for wisdom to live within us. Life is a dance, even in the darkness and the silence.
