A major news source published an article recently highlighting the fact that many individuals feel like a fraud. Studies repeatedly confirm that we often feel like others see us in ways that are better or stronger than we deserve. A consequence that follows this feeling is an uncertainty that often permeates every aspect of our lives. One is unsure of where s/he really stand with others. Recognition and rewards are seen as problematic – was it earned? What happens when others discover the truth? The combination creates a doubt that is difficult to ignore.
I find that depending on the day and events around me, there is an uncertainty within me that I have yet to shake. Intellectually I know what defines my worth. My worth comes from how Divinity looks at me – her child, her creation, and one that carries her proxy in life’s chaos. Yet, I still wonder if the way others see me is fully deserved. Have I oversold myself? What do I do with my weaknesses and the ways they play out in daily failures? Is the content within me worth what others say it is?
I can hear whispers reminding me of the way these questions continue to haunt my life.
Uncertainty and fear that one will be discovered biases the ways we understand what we see. We look around us through colored glasses, often blaming others; “You turned my friends against me, made me horrible to them. I’m caught in a maze and can’t find my way out.” (Psalm 88.8)
Being unsure encourages one to be more defensive than s/he should or need to be. Not everyone is out to get us. Others are as likely as not to have similar uncertainties. Acting in fear often gives life to the details in fear’s mirage.
While reflection and looking back are necessary, they do not need to dominate. There are rationale reasons for being confident, even in our weaknesses and other’s inflated perceptions.
While I am unsure at times, I am sure and confident of the power of love, compassion, and caring.
