“What the…!”
There were multiple ways to complete the statement. In the course of a few hours I think I ended up muttering or thinking of the endless variations. The intensity and sense of being personally touched and burned was overwhelming. In my anger I knew I needed to be careful! I was sure my feelings were justified but I worried that things would spiral towards unintended consequences for everyone involved. It was as if I was the character the Psalmist was talking about then he wrote “God was furious – a wildfire anger; he couldn’t stand even to look at his people.” (Psalm 106.40)
I paused, and then paused some more. I took the advice of being cautious and reflected on my emotions and the alternatives for what came next. In the moment, it was the best that I could do.
With daylight between then and now, I can see the following.
Life can be ugly. It may be unintentional, accidental, or random. Whatever the reason for why the present is what it is, it is. In every ugly moment, there are lessons to be learned, choices to consider, and life to be lives.
Life can be painful. Life hurts! As beautiful, wonderful, and awe inspiring at some moments are, there are also moments when we hurt to the core of what makes us who we are. In these moments, I realize that I am alive and have the ability to choose what I do next.
Life is an opportunity. In my pain and reflection, I met another equally hurting. Our pain was not related to the other, yet the conversation that followed reminded me of the opportunity that comes in every moment. Am I willing to exercise love, charity, and community in all that I do?
I am still confused by recent events. The pain that followed seems unnecessary. It also seems that it was not intentional, rather an unintended consequence of a series of careless choices. I am reminded that my choice is always found in the moment that is now. Carpe diem!
