For me, there is a wonderfully wonderful sense of satisfaction that comes when I do something that nobody else is knows about. It is as if I have successfully completed a secret mission! Covert, stealth, and without notice, a mission accomplished. My point in bringing it up is to share the feeling. The deeds are past tense. If not me, hopefully someone would have stepped in and acted.
The living example was a recent hospice call to deliver food. During the visit, we said one line (who we were). As a resident of the apartment opened the door, with limited motions as she talked rapidly on the telephone. We deposited the nine bags of groceries near the inside of the front door, turned around and quickly left. Her conversation never stopped. The intensity in her voice did not waiver. She was physically home and mentally somewhere else. She was as disconnected as one could be while physically being present.
As we silently paused for a moment, my mind drifted to an old psalm observation shared with Divinity; “Let them curse all they want; you do the blessing.” (Psalm 109.28) Our visit today was not to subtle way of ignoring a gift, the lightest of the alternative ways of dissing blessings freely given. As I think of my attention in days gone by, in responding to a child’s gift, in acknowledging my parent’s love, I am not sure I was so different. The busyness of the moment trumped everything else.
As we walked down the corridor and then walkway to the car, it felt good to play a character in a larger story of charity. I did not have a big role; others had make far greater contributions and sacrifices. I am sure that the recipients were touched, even if they were too busy to express it. In the larger story, gifts have never been about recognition.
In today’s quiet morning, the opportunities to make a difference are on the horizon. As I take stock of my intent and aspirations, memories of covert giving and happiness linger.
