A truism in my consulting practice is that a client institution can only hear what they can hear. If one has maximized the message, the next step is quietness. At a minimum, one should stop the drumbeat of insight and awareness! Recent incidents suggest that the mantra also applies to individuals.
We hear what we can or are willing to hear.
There is a comedy routine that I have seen play out in life. The person listening does not appear to speak or understand what is being said. Without any effort to discern the why, the speaker slows down, speaks more loudly, and uses simple words.
When I do not understand and this happens to me, English to English conversations, it is difficult to not inject my emotions as I remind the speaker that my hearing is just fine. I usually go on to explain that although I understand the definition and meaning of the words used, in combination I do not understand the point or message s/he is trying to make,
When one cannot hear more, my approach is to work on open and readiness. Without both, there is little point.
If there was a single lesson from recent experiences, it would be this. Hearing is directly related to one’s heart and trust. If one, ideally both, have hearts that are healed and whole and the two trust the other, any conversation is possible! It is in this position that the psalmist words play out; “unfazed by rumor and gossip, heart ready, trusting in God,” (Psalm 112.07)
If either is less than full, the first action centers on healing and restoration. The ability to hear and hearing will only come with time.
The catalysts in the quest to be heard are listening and silence. The greater the listening the more probable that the one who has been heard can hear. The time two can share comfortable periods of silence has a correlation to the trust that already present between them.
If I want to be heard, the starting place is with and in another’s heart.
