I find myself with grey hair, finally willing to admit to the reality that when I am seriously hungry it is likely that my demeanor, attitude, and even tone of voice will be different. I have come to appreciate the old and new reminders of those close nearby that I get ugly when I do not take time to regularly eat. I often miss the mood swing indicators but there are other telltales that indicate I am way past the time to eat.
First, a unique type of headache begins to dominate everything in the moment. It is not the same as a stress or dehydration headache. It is not related to any other headache I normally have. This headache has a unique signature that reminds me I am well past my eating time.
Second, my body begins to ache even though I have not done anything linked to the aches and pains. I can push through the pain but the signals do not go away. If there is a constant it is the determined way my body clings to the specific aches associated with a lack of food and uses them to remind me first, and then demand that I do something about the problem.
Third, in extreme cases my mind begins to blur. What were easy decision not become unsolvable conundrums. Things that I could focus on now dance any ability on my part on slow them down. The order and logic I look for appears to go missing, replaced by uncertainty, chaos, and confusion.
The easy way to summarize my state of being when I have skipped breakfast and lunch is one of lost balance. Whatever it is internally that keeps life level and perfect has slipped from my grasp. What remains is an ability to function without the values and priorities I hold closest to my heart.
I have seen this as just a food equation. A psalmist reminds me that it is so much more; “My soul is starved and hungry, ravenous! – insatiable for your nourishing commands.” (Psalm 119.20)
