There are times in life where my logic and intellect cannot overcome the big, complex, and overwhelming challenge immediately in my path. I know it is there, I can see and feel it with every part of who I am. While I think I understand the magnitude, I am not confident I have its full measure. Regardless, I know my logic will not lead me to the answer.
As I wrestle with a challenge, I know my logic will not lead me to the answers I need. Even as I prepare for failure, I find myself thinking of the psalm; Divinity “struck Sihon the Amorite king, His love never quits.” (Psalm 136.19). In a situation even greater than my own, this look back was to an overwhelming giant of a man who defied all but one attempts to defeat him in battle. The one he lost to then is the one I must trust now if I am going to overcome what I face in the present.
Trust is often expressed as faith. Whatever description we put to a personal willingness to risk all because of our confidence another will act in and for our best interests, it is not something that comes easy to most adults. The trust we had in our parents and initially gifted to others, has been broken and destroyed in so many ways that I am no longer sure I know what it looks like.
When there is a call to trust, my companions are Fear and Doubt. I do not know if I can trust. It is hard to remember when trust worked, when it became more than an outcome of luck. The reminders, starting with a psalm and getting more and more personal, are a foundation on which I can stand if I am willing to walk through the valleys again. There is experiential evidence within my heart I can draw on. In letting myself reexperience the memories, I find trust standing as a doorway to unconditional faith.
Trust and faith in Divinity trumps anything I bring.
