Decades ago, I took a decision. From the moment we met in an interview, I knew he would be a friend. But, as hard as I try, I cannot recall his face. I remember the essence of his heart. He always had a smile, twinkle in the eye, and ready laugh. Difficult subjects were treated with the gravitas each deserved. With him, kindness and care were always present.
The reason I remember his heart is because of the contrast to the darkness of my decision. Bluntly put, I knew he was in a position of weakness in our interview. Others has exploited his situation and were taking advantage of him. From almost every angle, he was at the mercy of others who did not have his best interest at heart. With a smile, I fell into the trap others had laid out. While I did not discriminate, I used his weakness for my advantage and exploited him, just like everyone else.
I spent six months trying to repair the damage I was done. Although I apologized, and he graciously accepted my apology with a warm embrace, my awareness and understanding continued to haunt me.
Right around the sixth month anniversary of my wrong, I fixed the visible part of my wrong and awarded him the Vice President title and salary he was qualified for and so richly deserved through his actions. He was good at his job. He had to the potential to be the best branch manager I have ever met or heard of. I so wanted him to succeed that I pushed him hard and relentlessly on every occasion. With one such push, he asked to be relieved. Between my selfishness and belief, I pushed harder and denied him the break.
My response was our last conversation. He passed later that evening because of an overloaded heart. His lesson is always with me his spirit walks with God through the psalms. “I look behind me and you’re there, then up ahead and you’re there, too – your reassuring presence, coming and going.” (Psalm 139.5)
