I watched kids playing. Everywhere I looked, I found smiles, laughter, and an sparking eyes! In addition to New Jersey memory flashbacks, I realized that anyone in the vicinity of these children must be smiling. Their happiness and joy in living was infectious! Their acceptance, equality, and joy found in being together was compelling. As I stood near the edge waiting, a little girl mistakenly confused me for her dad standing a short distance away from me.
As she reached for my hand and turned her eyes up towards me, the question was universal – Did you see me? Were you watching me?
I smiled and stepped back just a bit, alternatively waving and clapping. I had no idea who this family was. I had not made contact and knew I was on the fringe of crossing an invisible line. The good news is that I was with friends, so it did not look as awkward as it felt to me.
From the reaction of her dad, the overwhelming answer to her question was “Yes! I am watching. I am proud of you!”
It is easy to predict that this is not a new question. Like dads before him, he has heard the question. If he is like me, I never get tired of answering her question. One of the greatest joys a father can have is reaffirming his love to a child when s/he is smiling. One of the most committed responses a father can give is when the child is anywhere else. Reaffirming love is restorative for everyone involved.
In the quiet dawn I find myself listening to a psalm with my heart. “I prayed, ‘God, you’re my God! Listen, God! Mercy!’” (Psalm 140.06)
As it replays and dances before me, I find myself looking into the innocent eyes of a three-year child who is asking, “are you watching?”
I feel Divinity’s affirming response, “yes, I am watching.” Even as the silence takes over, the rest drifts towards me, “I am always with you. Everywhere, everyplace, all the time, I am here, watching and cheering.”
