There are lots of reasons to be legitimately angry. The anger question I often wrestle with is not the “why” of the source but rather the “why” of my response. Regardless of the source of the why, be it a failure of my making or another’s choice beyond my ability to control or influence, the big question lies in my response. Why and how will I act?
The lessons found in painful experiences are reminders which replay in my mind as if each happened yesterday. They include the following.
Releasing one’s anger is the key to responding with intelligence created in one’s mind and heart. I vividly remember discovering a Hindu temple sequence which ended in the final step of releasing one’s anger and injustice to Divinity. In a similar thread, the psalmist captures the plea as words of release; “Let God pile hellfire on them, let him bury them alive in crevasses!” (Psalm 140.10)
Formulating one’s response begins in understanding the who and context behind the source. It is the foundation of empathy and forgiveness which allows one to open a door to a constructive response. Thich Nhat Hanh invites one to sit in the full knowledge of the experiences which led to another’s action as the beginning of understanding. This is not to condone the action but to understand the why which can be heard as a calling to care and kindness. It is a way of seeing the past while acting for the future.
Maintaining focus is challenged by anger, but it need not be controlled by it. With a cleansing breath, I release my anger and turn to the future with intent and purpose. When I am not successful, the most telling gap lies in the cleansing breath. When I see the source through a lens of compassion, the breath comes naturally. In cleansing my heart and mind, I am filled with a fresh filling of hope. It is like I have been recreated within and in accepting this recreation, I am able to act on the values closest to my heart.
