A series of tough conversations recently played out where I was in the supporting cast. Even in this role, I went through a series of one-on-one Q&A sessions where blunt follow-on questions were tabled, explored, and challenged. It was not a particularly pleasant experience for anyone involved. Regardless of what happens next, and there are several options and even more unknowns, the conversation was overdue. From my perspective, it could and should have begun much earlier.
As I reflect on recent history, I find myself looking into a mirror. It is difficult to be critical of others when I can see similar examples scattered across my life. Even with Divinity, there are times where I struggle to have the tough conversation needed. The lessons I find myself carrying include the following.
Details matter. Broad brush strokes may feel good to one party or the other, but it is in the details that the heart of the matter is revealed. I like to express my admiration and appreciation for the good things which happen in life. Even as I do this, I catch myself burying my frustrations due to the way I see Divinity in my life. The lies in the experience of embracing the psalmist’s prayer; “I spill out all my complaints before him and spell out my troubles in detail.” (Psalm 142.2) When I do this, when the high level and the detail come together, the real conversation begins.
Unconscious bias influences one’s thoughts, often far more than one’s initially realizes. Vocalizing and dialoguing with others, exposes the influences I often do not see or understand. While it does not eliminate the influence, it does put it into a better place.
At all times, keep one’s focus on the goal. What does a perfect outcome look like? Is that where I really want to go and be? As I reflect, I have a clear view on this. The lesson for me lies in recreating a center-point for the moments where I have lost focus. Returning to the center is the place where I cannot err.
