The restaurant table on edge of Gorky Park in Kharkiv provided shelter and plenty of room for the six of us. Round, elevated, and designed for sitting cross legged, a mix of Japanese and casual picnic. It was a perfect place for a 7-year-old boy to create a game of hidden attacks as he snaked under the low table.
We blatantly ignored his parent’s mild and totally unnecessary embarrassment. I enjoyed our cat and mouse fun, alternating between pretending to ignore him and trapping him in my arms. The latter became an exercise of trying himself up with his arms and legs, my goal was to always have a free hand. His natural Russian replaced by the universal language of any young boy this age anywhere in the world.
In the mirror, I found myself playing the role of this 7-year-old with Divinity. My actions suggest I believe I need to get God’s attention. Even as God responds to me, it is not until I am tied up in knots that I realize She had always kept me in her sight. Each time I realize I am that boy in the mirror the lessons of being embraced come back in new ways.
In my bargaining, I easily forget that the outcome has already been realized. My playful negotiation is another form of an old prayer, “Get me out of this dungeon so I can thank you in public. Your people will form a circle around me, and you’ll bring me showers of blessing!” (Psalm 142.7). Only when I am tied up tightly with Divinity do I realize the truth that my negotiation began in the shadow of Divinity’s watchful eye and concluded when I found myself embraced by Divinity action, past and present.
Just because I have forgotten the truth, it does not follow that Divinity is equally forgetful. In the first touch, I knew the game which was going to follow. I eagerly fell into it, knowing I would see a child’s smile and earn his trust. Bargaining with pre-determined perfect outcome is Hope’s confirmation.
