As I read an author’s notes behind a biography, he spoke to a story the son shared of a time when he walked in on his father in a moment of meditation. Even as I read the words, I could feel the way the scene played itself out on my heart and mind. It was simple, direct, and powerful.
As I have considered the story, I find myself reflecting on the lessons of communication it revealed.
There are multiple types of listening and conversation. From primarily receiving by one party to the exclusion of the other, to shared conversation of the mind and ultimately to shared conversations of the heart. Understanding where along the spectrum of listening and engagement in dialogue one is opens the door to changing it to what you want to achieve in and through the relationship.
Regardless of what our head says, our hearts determine the depth of our conversation with another. As I have aged, the edges of my choices seem to grow further apart. The premise that all conversations have the potential to be deep and meaningful has been replaced by a desire to have deep and meaningful conversations in the relationship I choose to have.
The notable difference between a dialogue and conversation is the intent to listen, understand, and reason with each other. The deeper each dimension of intent is, the more a conversation becomes a dialogue. With each relationship based in love, I find a standing invitation to dialogue.
In my youth, I realized I was learning to listen with my ears. Life revealed the hidden opportunity to engage with a full range of emotions and then on into actions. A quiet space is better than a noisy one. A space where each gives the other the permission to express the full self opens doors one did not imagine.
The psalmist understood the connection. As I listen, “Those who fear God get God’s attention; they can depend on his strength,” (Psalm 147.11) I find myself slowing down, opening up, candidly sharing, and being open to the dialogue.
