There is a wonderful irony that comes with age. It is one where I love, demand, and relish while also hating and wishing it was not completely true. With age comes an ability to make decisions with more and more freedom. Initially our freedom is realized in our self-awareness that we are adults. It grows as we embrace the reality that we are our own primary point of accountability. It grows even further when we let go of the need for the approval and affirmation of others.
The irony is that the freedom was realizes with age has always been here. From our first self-awareness of being an independent being, we have had the freedom and ability to choose our future. The difference between those early days and now, at least for me, is that there is no-one to protect me from myself.
My father created safe spaces for me to learn how to use a grinder, arc-welder, and metal lathe. Now when I pick up a power tool, I am responsible for my safety as well as those around me. My mother watched my back as a child. She encouraged me to take it to the edge yet she was always there when I crashed and burn. Her love and smile still come back to me through my memories as I struggle to pick myself up yet again.
In my failure, I am always a child. I long to be comforted and assured that everything will be ok. As alone as I might feel, Life reminds me that support is always available.
At every age, taking a decision has consequences. With bad calls, old psalms come true; “since he loved cursing so much, let curses rain down; since he had no taste for blessing, let blessings flee far from him.” (Psalm 109.17) With good calls, celebrations begin.
Life is defined by one embrace of freedom. It is in our awareness and acceptance of action and choice that we realize what it means to live fully and completely.
I enjoyed being a child. I love living.
