Taking advice can change the outcome of one’s aim. As I sit in a city I have never been to before, the images which replay with the word advice are all negative. People I knew and trusted gave me advice which might have worked for themselves, but it was not something I could wear. In some cases, I zealously followed the path, ignoring feedback and warnings. In other cases, I charged a hill without knowing why. When I arrived, I discovered my regret for accepting a mission which would have been best filled by someone else.
To anyone taking aim, I would offer the following lessons which I am revisiting with renewed interest.
You and I are responsible for our aim. We cannot delegate it. If we let someone aim for us, the responsibility and outcomes will still be our own. The lesson then and now for me is bluntly direct. I must own my aim and mission. Coaching, advice, and mentoring can be helpful, but I choose what will become part of my arsenal. When embraced, one defines one’s center.
Asking and accepting help is a good idea, but each comes with consequences. The consequences can be the intentional ones I seek or unintended outcomes which influence me in ways I never imagined. As much as I believe, know what happens when one embraces the psalmist’s prayer, “May the Just One set me straight, may the Kind One correct me, don’t let sin anoint my head. I’m praying hard against their evil ways!” (Psalm 141.5). Divinity is going to deliver, even if one changes her/his mind.
Listen, watch, and seek to understand each step along the way. Ignorant blindness is equal to clear vision. Use the feedback and incremental outcomes with each step to adjust and refine your methods and techniques. The more critical and time pressured the aim is, the more important and essential it is to take time to reflect, learn, and grow.
Life is more than our aim. It is why, how, and what we do to get to where we aim.
