The setting of founders and mentors is, by design, one of questions and answers. Mentors never suggest her/his response is truth. In contrast, they frequently remind their audience their points reflect lessons from their journey. As I consider founder reactions, one response stands out – defensiveness.
I understand the natural tendency to explain, however, mentors are not looking for explanations. If I generalize mentor views, it would be “use what is useful, ignore the rest.”
And yet, many still defend.
As I considered their response, I found myself looking in the mirror. How have I reacted to the insight and observations shared by those who love me? Was I any different when the advice came from my wife, brother, or dare I say especially, my father? Even when I knew it to be true, I found myself explaining my action away.
Mantras that I am trying to hold onto so I can grow include the following.
Any and everyone can be better today than s/he was yesterday. I believe I was designed to learn and grow. I want to be a better man. I was to contribute more and more. I want to open doors, not block them. If I embrace this premise of truth, I will need to recognize how difficult conversations and reflections open a window to a better future.
Answers are multi-layered. Listen with an open heart and mind. Replay what you heard, so that you can hear between the lines and words. Each step helps one hear the fullness of message. I find it requires me to be fully present in the moment. All other conversations within my head are put on hold, and my attention is dedicated to hearing and understanding. I need to know why, and they are often explicitly answered if I am willing to slow down, focus and listen. The psalmist’s record of a response illustrates this point. “And why? Because God chose Jacob, embraced Israel as a prize possession.” (Psalm 135.4)
Wisdom is around us. Divinity’s answers are both spoken and shared. I want and need to hear.
