I participated in a conference call that quickly fell into an established pattern. Even though the script was unwritten, not discussed, and to the uninitiated invisible, everyone on the call followed the script to the letter. Roles were clear. Process was precisely adhered to. Even the way additions and differences were articulated fit with acceptable norms. As a result, the outcome was safely predictable.
I left the call with a sense of the familiar and a longing for something different. The reminders of why I struggle to be in this space, even for a short time, were overwhelming. While I wonder if I was the only one who felt this way, I keep reminding myself of what I look for in every interaction and encounter.
Directness – words combine to be short, concise, and to the point. If one wants to participate, say so. If one is looking for something, let us know. If there is a view, start with it. Trust others to be able to hear and dialogue for with the intent of the greater good. An example of this with God is found in the Psalmist’s words; “So look me in the eye and show kindness, give your servant the strength to go on, save your dear, dear child!” (Psalm 86.16)
If one does not understand or has a concern, say so or let others know. Trust plays an important role in giving this action a safe place to live. Clarity is never the same as being less intelligent, other than an intentional decision to not seek it.
There is more to a conversation than just asking. Two other components have equal value – listening and and confirming what has occurred. In the conference conversation, most listened with their hearts and minds but there was no confirmation or celebration to wrap things up. As I left I could feel the sense of lost opportunity embracing me.
Today is an unscripted opportunity to live. I want to do something special. My intent is that my efforts are as direct, candid, and complete as they can be.
