With the benefit of time, I have come to appreciate the lessons found in the three stakes of an ask. In my youth, I often blended my belated request for help with an emerging frustration in whatever followed. The harsh reality of my timing, muddle messaging, and unreasonable expectations came together in ways which confused everyone, myself included! As a reminder to myself, let me share the steps involved.
Recognize one’s need as early as it is physically and mentally possible. Divinity’s whisper reminds me to look clearly in the mirror with a goal of recognizing I need help. Recognizing one’s limitations is a doorway to far more than we can see, understand, or do on our own. Life reminds me of specific needs. Initially, I limited myself to friends. While they remain my first choice, the criteria I use today begins with wisdom, understanding, and character.
Be specific. A generalized cry for help is often met by someone who is present with no further intent or commitment. I often used the candor in the psalms as a reference. Consider the clarity in an old prayer; “Rescue me from the enemy sword, release me from the grip of those barbarians who lie through their teeth, who shake your hand then knife you in the back.” (Psalm 144.11). The scene is detailed, the context clarified. The ask is direct and to the point. Knowing one’s need and asking for it directly opens the door for the third step.
Consider the response and, with thankfulness, use what is useful. One should never assume communication out and back is perfect. In context, affirm the offer to help is consistent with the ask. Take time to pay attention to the details. An expression of appreciation, for action and in specifics is always a good idea. Use what is offered. There is a reason one looked for help. In the hope which comes when someone offers to help, never forget the why of the ask.
I recently cried for help. Several responded. With thanksgiving, accepting their response gifts made me stronger.
