Just when you expect someone to be there, he or she disappoints. It is not just that I am the victim of reasonable expectations; I fail those around me, especially family far more frequently than I am willing to acknowledge or admit.
This morning I expected a wake-up call at 5:45 am in order to leave for the airport at 7. At 6:30 the phone rang and with a long winded apology I found myself scrabbling with half the time I had carefully allotted. My frustration, building anger, and resignation flooded ever corner of my body. How could I have been so foolish to depend on the hotel staff?
I wish I could not remember the number of times this scenario has played out. I have been an active participant in all roles and the emotional toll continues to remind me of just how often I fail those I hold most precious. It is as if I hear them muttering to themselves. “Lots of people claim to be loyal and loving, but where on earth can you find one?” (Proverbs 20.6) And then I realize that they are talking about me.
The sequence following the late call reminded me just how close grace is to each of us at all times. I had packed the night before so there really wasn’t a problem with getting up late. I was able to shower, dress, finish packing, stop and have a tea and a light breakfast, checkout and still arrive downstairs on-time for the car to the airport. So what was the problem?
The challenge comes when my self-god believes it is the center of all that surrounds my self. I find myself losing awareness of just how involved the Spirit desires to be in everything that occurs in life. This morning an opportunity to trust that God’s arms would reassure and provide hope. The events that followed were fresh opportunities to experience people modeling acceptance and grace in everyday living. God give each moments of mercy, love, and ultimately hope. Awareness is a choice, yours and mine.
