As the flight landed, my mind took me back fifty years. In the wee hours of the morning, still blackness with an overwhelming wave of a hot and humid blanket of air enveloping us, my brother and I stepped off a jet into the unknown of Bombay. Even as we walked towards our grandfather for the second time in our lives, we knew we had no idea what to expect. In the years that followed, every trip to Bombay seemed to be a replay of emotional uncertainty. Sickness, accidents, and adventures of every description are how I talk about it. In reality it seemed as though I was coming back to a battlefield where I always paid a price with my heart.
As much as I want to say I am stronger than I was then, my heart acts the same as I did the first time when I was ten years old. The conditioning is automatic. As hard as I prepare for something good, everything within me is preparing for the worst! As quiet and still as I might look to those around me, inside the scream in my head is deafening; “God of the Angel Armies, listen: O God of Jacob, open your ears – I’m praying!” (Psalm 84.8)
It is day two and so far nothing bad has hit me. While my body remains on high alert, I am coming to realize that there is a good feeling emerging between the pin pricks. I know God has been here in the past, otherwise I would not be here. I understand that the battlefield I remember are always around me. We struggle with Evil in Singapore, New York, and London. The location is not what determines if we are at war!
Life whispers; remember the whole story not just the battles. As I shut my eyes I remember laughter around the pool in Beach Candy, great food shared as we stood by the street vendor, and refreshing drinks in stifling heat. Most of all, I see faces smiling. Hope was and is always here.
