There are times when stuff just happens. Yesterday, a colleague was 45 minutes late to a one on one update. The meeting had been scheduled at his convenience and for his benefit. With a computer that was not working correctly, he had not been alerted that the appointment was coming. Even as he explained, you could feel the emotions of his apology. It was a moment that could have gone in any direction.
“Stuff happens to all of us. Let’s not worry about this.”
As I reflected on the positive turn that followed, engaged conversation, collaborative thinking, and an action plan that followed, there was a lingering question lingered and swirled.
While this was an easy thing to forgive and move on from with no offense taken, how far to an extreme would the action need to be before it took control and defined everything that followed? Would a personal and intentional slight suffice? Would it take something humiliating and painful to trigger a different response?
In an old story, the writer notes that a character was treated unfairly and in ways that were unjust. While the men who action the specifics could or should have known the truth when “they put cruel chains on his ankles, an iron collar around his neck,” (Psalm 105.18) the real culprits were the individuals and the actions that led to this event. It is easy to say that the recent reply would not be my first choice.
In this case, the best I would be able to muster would be a reluctant, “Yes, stuff happens; but I am worried.”
In the old story, the abused character went on to great things. Material goods, power, prestige, and the ability to take care of the individuals who abused him are part of the story that followed. While I doubt he would have chosen the path, once walked, given the outcome, I like to believe he would have willingly embraced it.
Events and stories remind me that my response is more important than the justice (or lack of justice) in each moment.
