Conclusion

It is easy to draw a conclusion before you have heard the end of the story.  As I listened to a conversation, even knowing that I did not understand half of it, I knew the punch line.  Party A was angry with Party B.  One was right.  The other was wrong.  The evidence was clear, if one was willing to accept it as presented.  Both sides had the save story, just inverted.  One is a friend, the other an acquaintance.  I caught myself taking sides even before I had heard the story.

The nuance that caused me to stop and question myself was the tone of the conversation.  It was hard to believe that both parties could honestly echo Paul; “I’m not just sounding off because I’m irritated.”  (1 Corinthians 9.8)  The sound of their voice and body language expressed frustration and anger.  Each was irritated!

I found myself wanting to replay the conversation and ask questions.  It is what I hope others will do for me when they think I am irritated.  As I replayed various conversations from the past, I realized my intent is often lost to my voice and body language.  Their domination is the storyline.  As much as I hoped that my message came through, looking back I see that my audience was unable to hear my heart.  They heard the externals.

I find myself starting the week with three mantras in hand.

Listening and asking always help one draw the right conclusion.  It is not enough to ask others to do something for you.  Start by doing something for them.  The easiest point I know is listening with you heart.

Be mindful of the vehicle you choose to express anything.  A soul dominated by intense emotions often conveys those emotions ahead of the message.

When sharing, remember to close the story.  The process is not over until you have affirmed what others have heard.  It is not act of simply speaking.  Sharing involves others.

Life unfolds through our stories.  Investing in them is a deposit on the relationships of our lives.