“And me? I plan on looking you [God] full in the face.” Psalm 17.15
Yesterday marked 20 years since I meet the women who became my wife. It was, by most accounts, an unusual beginning. I first saw Cherry at 4:30 am on a crisp Friday morning. Dawn was not even in sight on the slopes northeast of St. Helena in the Napa Valley of California.
I know now what I would do if I replayed the same frame knowing the history to come. I would do exactly what I did, except for adding the lime to Cherry’s water at breakfast!
Making decisions and commitments often carries elements of doubt. Did I make the right decision? Was there more information? What if…
It is natural to carry this doubt into every decision we make. Marriage, school, work, and yes, God.
Is God real? Does God judge everything I do? Does God need for forgive? If God forgives, does He do it unconditionally? Is it possible to live forever? If so, what must I do? Can I live a perfect life? Out list of doubts can be endless. Is there ever an end?
I believe experiential trust can answer our doubts.
I have no doubts about my actions 20 years and 1 day ago because I know Cherry loves me. Cherry demonstrated her love in tests far beyond my imagination and her strength, commitment, and acceptance is sure.
When did my doubts cease? When and who answered my questions? I don’t know. I do know that they no longer exist.
Can my relationship with God grow like this?
Sunday night I participated in a live worship recording. We sang, danced, cried, and above all worshipped. As I left I wondered what my memories would be. The experience was good but I seemed somewhat numb. What would be the legacy?
Monday morning began a realization that I am just now beginning to understand. My doubt of God’s acceptance and interest in me is gone. I cannot find a reason except I experienced His touch.
God will touch you.
