Confidence is fleeting. It does not matter what one does on the outside, inside one's self knows the truth. The questions with no answers, the challenges with few options, and the responsibilities that come with too many dependencies all trigger a moment where you and I know the truth, if only to our inner self.
It is nice when a battle or project is on because this eliminates most opportunities to sit back and question the plan underway. We took the time to think and plan the projects, now it is time to execute. We explored the alternatives, seeking to know the full range of possibilities; now one must choose. In the midst of an argument, it is fun to take on the challenge of trying to find how both sides can win. However, in each of these circumstances the mind blocks most thoughts that challenge one's confidence. There are exceptions, but survival quickly dismisses the threat, at least for the moment.
There are several fronts in my life where I have no clear understanding or knowledge of the full journey. Plans at work impacting the lives of people who work there, kids growing up at home, and my own spiritual journey quickly come to mind. The process is clear, but the doubts are almost overwhelming. The pressing question continues to be, “are you on the right track?”
There is a measure we can both use in every circumstance. Reflect and honestly measure our own behavior against our beliefs and values. “If you're not sure, if you notice that you are acting in ways inconsistent with what you believe – some days trying to impose your opinions on others, other days just trying to please them – then you know that you're out of line.” (Romans 14.23) It is important to note that the measure will hold eternally if our standard of belief rests in God.
Confident? I am in God's work in you, in those around me, and in myself. I wonder about myself, however, that only drives me to cling to God's perfect love.
