As we approach the start of a meeting, a gift in the form of advice was presented. “If you see any curve balls coming at you, duck. Let someone else answer the question.” Given that I was the one leading the presentation, I was not sure how this would work in practice. As the meeting unfolded, the words echoed in my mind, shaping how I saw and reacted to the statements made and questions asked.
Lessons from the meeting include the following.
Hear deeply. The rule of thumb from this meeting is to listen twice as long as you think you need to. Listen to all the ways each person talks. This includes the obvious voice, tone, and intensity. It also includes body language, the manner of listening, and how they react to others in the conversation. Hear until you are certain that you know and understand what has been said, then pause, and listen a few beats longer.
React slowly. This starts with giving space for others to respond. The premise of being slow is the value one assumes and gifts others with. If each has an important insight, the most important response is a non-response.
Use the stage you have to build understanding. If there is a gem offered by an unexpected source, protect it! Follow an old example; “He permitted no one to abuse them. He told kings to keep their hands off.” (Psalm 105.14) Encourage listening, good manners, and a willingness to see more than one normally is able to see.
As we debriefed, I realized that my lessons reminded me of the importance of coming in prepared. The preparation is more than just knowing one’s materials and the goal. Preparation is the actions and activity (including stopping everything that one is doing) that prepares the heart and spirit. Although I frequently think about this at the last moment, if at all, in hindsight it is the most important thing I should do.
Today I have six key meetings. Sitting in silence, letting Life repair and align my heart is a start.
