The discussion was intense. The facts thrown on the table were direct, sharp, and pointed. Even though there were others in the room, it was between the two of us. It was as if two middleweight boxers were hitting for the sake of hitting. Even as I aspired to move the discussion to something collaborative, I sensed that it was a wish that was not going to come true.
In my experience, verbal boxing matches can be avoided. From my gray hairs to yours, my top three are as follows.
Remember, it always takes at least two. More help, but the minimum number is two. One can be willing, however that is not enough. This is never an excuse for not making your position the first. You and I are responsible for our souls. This means we have the free to choose if we will be available, open, and ready. It may not be enough, but it is the beginning.
While our views are important, a collective view has more strength. This requires defenders of the truth. Everyone can use help. It is often better to rely on others than trust in yourself. In an old story, when a Chief Priest was attacked, other stepped up. “The aides were scandalized: ‘How dare you talk to God’s Chief Priest like that!’” (Acts 23.4) Embracing this model opens the community up to the possibility of More.
The process of collaboration is more important than the outcome. We are responsible for our contribution to it. We are not fully or solely accountable for the result. Doing the right thing does not mean that the outcome is what we hope. If we perform our part, others will still have the freedom to participate or go their own way.
I missed the defenders is this debate. Others chose not to collaborate. While this outcome was not my ideal, there will be other opportunities today. Each opportunity is an invitation to make a difference. The next step is a collective community decision. Whatever happens, I know I want to do my part.
