It can be difficult to distinguish between a label, a handle, and a nickname. Depending on the relationship between the person using the descriptor and the person being described or referenced, the same word can land with fondness and affection or bigotry and pain. I wish every person, myself included, who used words and emotions to address others carefully considered their choice. I recently watched words land and the reaction as the speaker began to understand the impact of what s/he had just done. Care and kindness were missing, even as the words had formed.
Descriptors are tools. They can be used as weapons. On other occasions, they can be vehicles of affection and care. We are responsible for the words we use, in our ignorance as well as at our best. When applied with care and kindness, one discovers opportunities to support others. When carelessly used, each can inflict pain, express judgment, and, at times, destroy opportunities. Just as we learned to use tools when we were young, we have a responsibility to invest in learning how to use these tools in a way which most closely aligns with our heart values.
Descriptors do not, in themselves, define what follows. Critical observations are gateways to understanding the potential of our actions. As an example, when looking at the critics, one writer observed, “Aren’t they the ones who scorn the new name – ‘Christian’ – used in your baptisms?” (James 2.7) Understanding the details which led to the description creates an informed doorway to action. Ignorant responses to descriptions applied does not absolve anyone from their responsibilities, before or after.
It is not a sign of weakness to pause, carefully choosing one’s next words. Life likes to remind me that each moment is not a race to the next. There are seasons for reflection and consideration. There is a time to consider what the best tool is for the opportunity at hand. In context, the descriptions we use can heal, comfort, and be a force for good.
May each word be wrapped with care, kindness, and love.
