I did not pay much attention to the waitress as she delivered my coffee. I am hopeful that I said thank you. I know I was not paying attention to the cup, coffee, or setting. My first reaction when I looked was annoyance; I knew I had not asked for and did not want any chocolate powder on my coffee. As soon as the thought hit me, I stopped. Multiple challenges were screaming within. Why would there be any chocolate anywhere near a black coffee? Was I mistaken? Did I know for sure that what I thought was chocolate was what I thought it was?
As I turned the cup in the light, my mistake was obvious. The gold leaf emerging from the shadows turned from a dark brown to gold. My annoyance shifted to wonder. How did I lose sight of the details? What was going on within me to shape my first response – criticism?
Details make a difference. Life reminds me that the most important person I am talking to is myself. In my actions, thoughts, and decisions, I speak to my heart and soul, reminding each of the values and priorities I hold closest. The messages are clear. I know what they are, even as I wish they were different. The chocolate powder episode was a helpful lesson reminder because no one other than me was impacted. With awareness now on full display, a lesson unfolded.
I am seen and judged by my heart. Details matter to me far more than others. As painful as an action can be, others see me for my motives. Correcting a mistake made for a good reason is easier than correcting the bad motive masquerading in good deeds. Darkness often seems to outweigh the light. It is helpful as I judge myself to remember that “God doesn’t miss anything. He knows perfectly well all the love you’ve shown him by helping needy Christians, and that you keep at it.” (Hebrews 6.10).
I have a new story to write today. May the details reveal my best heart.
