In a spirit of confession, I have a habit that I need to come clean on. I hate the feeling of being lost. I am often lazy when it comes to getting directions in advance. The solution of choice is to delegate the research to others and then expect him/her to communicate in a way that works with my ability to comprehend. While I might be imposing, this is not the heart of my confession. It is my reaction when I am lost that is a problem. In that moment, I can feel my blood pressure rising, the emotional intensity of something overwhelming me, and I vent. While I may not see my expression as directed or personal, I know it feels that way for others. I express my frustration at others for what I am responsible for.
As part of my confession, I willingly acknowledge that I have put myself in this position. Nobody forced me to rely solely on others. My direction is not their responsibility! I also know that blindly following another is an easy solution. No thought required.
I admit that I have not used the gifts of others appropriately. While each was willing to help, I cannot remember when anyone insisted that they were in charge of my directions. Gifts freely given do not come with warranties that the receiver will always understand them perfectly, even when they are perfect.
I am still trying to avoid the heart of the issue. The road I take is the road I choose. It was true then as it is now. I have freedom within to act. I am accountable, response, and free to exercise this freedom. What follows is my responsibility, nobody else.
Confession out.
What follows is going to be hard part; I will need to accept help in the context of responsibility. There are no know-it-all all-the-time people, including you and me.
It is a good thing that “God charts the road you take [while] the road they take is Skid Row.” (Psalm 1.6) Charting is one thing. Freedom is another.
